Feeling Something
by RosesAreForWriters
Summary: Katie Knight was a young girl with a better expressed brain than heart. Her "older brother" Logan Mitchell was a teen boy with a big mind, and a huge heart. When she's feeling down and frustrated as to why, he's the one to help. No romance, just good old-fashioned hurt/comfort and family love.


**A/N: So here's the first fanfiction I've written in a very long time! Thanks to all of you who are still subscribed to me even though I haven't posted anything. If something's off in the story please tell me. It _has_ been a long time. **

**Disclaimer: (I've actually missed doing these!) I don't own the show Big Time Rush, and I don't own Logan Henderson or Ciara Bravo. It would be so cool if I did though.**

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"Feeling Something"

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Katie Knight wasn't the first person you came to when you wanted advice on emotions or relationships. The obvious reason was that she was too young, but the thing about that was, it didn't always seem like it. The real reason people avoided talking to Katie at first when it came to that sort of thing- was because she didn't feel those types of emotions. She was best at seeing through the nonsense and coming up with something that actually worked. She was also very good at forcing them to do something that they were just a little bit terrified to do.

Logan Mitchell was a true scientist and enjoyed doing this that made sense. He loved mathematical equations, hypothesizes, and experiments. He liked having facts and research and good ideas as to what to do with a certain problem or "question". As smart and sensible as he was, he was still a teenage boy, and stupid enough to believe that "love science" could really get you anywhere in a relationship besides the end of one. Of course his sweet demeanor and innocence on the whole thing was definitely helpful with any relationship he had. He had contradicting qualities, but it was very endearing to those who knew him.

The two of them (Katie and Logan) knew each other well enough, because their common denominator was Kendall Knight, her brother and his best friend and group leader. As the relationship between Logan and Kendall (and James and Carlos) got stronger, so did the bond between the other boys and Katie. To them, she was a little sister to everyone. To her, they were all her big brothers. This was almost solidified when they moved to L.A. and lived together with Mrs. Knight as one big happy family. Of course, even though they were close, there was no real reason for Logan and Katie to hang out with one another one on one.

It wasn't really much of a problem for quite a while. When she saw him he was always scrambling to fix something or to go to a problem. If something was wrong with Camille, he'd eventually seek Katie out and ask for her advice- or he would go to Kendall or Mrs. Knight, whoever was at the apartment when he burst in there. If she ever went to him it was to help her out scientifically for some prank that she was going to play on someone. If it was the guys, then he had a fifty percent chance of _not_ being a target, but that was the best chance she could give him. It wasn't fair, but she was a hard player. He would have to earn a full one-hundred percent.

Still, her slightly abrasive style of acting and being wittier and smarter than most people her age proved to be was responsible for the small amounts of loneliness she sometimes felt. She tried not to show it, but that proved to be difficult when she was actually alone. If you're the only person in the room it becomes much harder to contain the thoughts that end up being shown through her expressions. It was the best she could do to hide her small, negative emotions whenever people came into the room.

She forgot that the most observant one in the entire group, her mother included, was a teenage boy that often came looking for her or the other members of her actual blood-related family. He was quick to notice a look of sadness when he so much as glanced at one. It was this situation that that came into play one day when Logan and Camille broke up for the third time that month and he was looking for a Knight (in relationship-helping shining armor.)

The door to the apartment opened up to a forty-five degree angle (give or take) and Logan came in, removing both hands from the door as he did so. His eyes had zeroed in on Katie as soon as he saw her figure sitting on the end of the swirly slide. Then, as his vision of her became clearer, he noticed her look of something that he couldn't quite place. If he hadn't been quiet from the second he turned the door knob he would have missed this expression because she hid it once she saw him out of the corner of her eye.

"Katie?" Logan questioned, slowing his walk to something more tentative. She ran a hand through her hair and sniffed once to gain focus on a new task that was sure to drop in her lap at the moment.

"Yes? Do you need something, Logan?" she asked quietly but strongly. She had erased any detail of loneliness from her face and looked up at Logan with those big brown eyes of hers. Logan looked down and into her eyes to look for a hint of the something he had just seen. He found it because she wasn't _the_ quickest at hiding things. He would know, he's played Hide-and-Seek with all the guys and her when they were younger (two weeks ago, technically, he thought). He frowned at her.

"No," he answered with a murmur, quickly analyzing that "hint" he had found in her eyes. In that computer part of his brain that he loved so much he came up with results and within a few milliseconds he changed his demeanor from "needing help" to "providing love and affection" to his little sister.

He grabbed her elbow without saying anything more and brought her to the couch where they could both comfortably sit down. She looked at him suspiciously and just barely complied with this action. He took a breath and prepared to speak, but found that he didn't actually have the words he needed.

"So what's up?" he asked, leaning back with an elbow touching the back of the couch to prop his head up. He figured that whatever this was- he was suspecting that her being alone was finally starting to get to her- could be at least temporarily remedied by just talking to her without an agenda to use her help.

"…Nothing, I guess," she slowly replied, not at all sure what his approach was for. When he'd needed her help before he was fast to get to the point so that she didn't have to wait for the question of "will you help me" to pop out. She had admired the clear motive for talking to her, but now this was completely different, and now she wasn't even sure what he was really doing.

"Are you sure? There's nothing going on in that sharp brain of yours?" he shrugged, almost suggesting that there _was_ something going on. She narrowed her eyes even more than they already were, turned her head slightly and began thinking of his real intent for this strange conversation.

"What are you doing?" she came out and asked him with a tone that mixed suspicion and incredulousness. He shrugged again and lifted a hand to say "I have no idea" but it was a stupid attempt to hide his obvious ulterior motive, or the obvious fact that he _had_ an ulterior motive.

"I don't know what you're talking about Katie, I'm just asking about you," he said, controlling his lips from saying the last half of that sentence. _'I'm just asking about you, since you seem to be lonely and in need of someone to talk to.' _Yeah, she wouldn't blow up at that at all. Unfortunately, the thought seemed to be written on his face, and she gained a look of shock and annoyance (almost betrayal) and leaned back.

"Well you don't _need_ to ask about me! I'm _fine_!" she retorted. She stood up and stormed out of the apartment, leaving Logan behind and in surprise. She seemed a bit touchy today.

"Something's clearly wrong," he whispered to himself. He stared at the door that had just been slammed shut.

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"I can't believe him," she muttered. Her head was lying on her arms that were folded on the table. She was sitting in a closed cabana, pouting about _how he could ask me how I am. I'm perfectly fine, can't he see that? How dare he ask me those questions?_

_ 'He was only trying to help. I was clearly upset about something, and he wanted to make me feel better,' _she thought against her will. It was annoying how thoughts could appear in her mind that went against how she wanted to feel. Of course, normally she would be welcoming this, because her head had just gained an upper advantage to her heart, and she was all about thought over emotion, wasn't she?

Great, now she was annoyed at herself for being stupid, which she was definitely not used to. _'Annoyance shouldn't be the only thing you're feeling. You __**snapped **__at Logan when he was trying to help you out. You stormed out of the room. Wasn't that uncalled for?'_ she asked herself. She made a noise that was half a sigh and half a groan. Her inner-self was right again, and she could already feel the guilt settling in and making its presence known. She felt even more annoyance.

"I don't like this," she growled quietly, burrowing deeper into her arms and closing her arms. She didn't know how long she was in that position before light poured into the little hut. She looked up with one eye open and a scowl on her face. The scowl dropped when she saw who was responsible for the disturbance.

"Logan," she breathed. He didn't say anything, and she wasn't able to read his expression or body language to know what he was thinking. He stepped forward and took a seat next to her at the little round table. He said nothing for longer than she was comfortable with. Her being left in the dark as to his intentions drove her crazy, and the silence was not helping to calm her racing thoughts.

She was the one to break the silence. "Logan…?" she posed his name as a question. He looked up from the center of the table, and at her. He pursed his lips to the side for another moment and then he finally opened his mouth to speak.

"Katie," he began, "I want you to tell me everything you're feeling right at this minute, and I don't want any protest," he told her sternly. He was quiet but it was like he had shouted the command. Her eyes grew wider and she started to say something against what he had said, but she listened to the last part of his sentence and kept quiet. Several seconds passed by before she said a single word.

"I'm feeling a lot of things right now," she started, "I'm not even sure where to begin."

"Start with the strongest things you're feeling. Or the ones that are being felt consciously," he suggested. She looked at him with scrutiny, feeling as if he knew what she had been thinking just before he came in.

"Annoyance and guilt are the newest ones," she whispered. He nodded, and he folded his hands. He was starting to look like a psychologist.

"Why are you feeling annoyance and guilt?" he probed further. She sighed and leaned back. She looked at him as she was about to say something to get out of answering the question but he raised his eyebrow to shut her up. She leaned forward again.

"I'm annoyed at myself for being somewhat of a hypocrite for letting my emotions get the best of me, and I guess the same goes for the guilt. I didn't mean to be that way back at the apartment Logan, I'm sorry," she confessed. He nodded.

"I accept your apology. You still have to tell me how you're feeling," he pushed her. He did his best to hide his smile at her obvious discomfort of the subject.

"Okay, fine. When you came in, I was upset with not having any friends here, apart from you guys. I mean, you guys hardly count because you're so much older and bigger than me! I was upset that the reason I don't have any friends my age is because I have more brain than heart, and I'm not good at _emotions_. I play so much poker that I have a poker face on a majority of the time, and other kids don't seem to like that. I'm a freak," she muttered the last sentence. He raised his eyebrows and then shook his head in disagreement.

"Nope, that's wrong, you are _not_ a freak. Katie Knight, you are the best kid of your age, and you can never forget that. You aren't the best at showing emotions, sure-" she cut him off before he could finish.

"No you don't understand. It's not quite that I don't show them, I'm not even very good at _feeling_ them. I mean, I have them like everyone else, but they're not that strong. I'm not used to feeling anything more than happiness at winning a poker game, love for you guys, and annoyance at you guys. I don't _do_ loneliness, guilt, or any of this sad crap. I don't like it, and I want it to go away! When I thought about _how_ I could get it to go away, I realized that I had so little friends, and _why_ I had such a small amount, and all of that led to this! I hate it Logan! I hate it and-" she choked at the last word and the tears that threatened to break through the floodgates started to overflow just little bit. A tear slipped by and Logan caught it. He wiped it on his shirt without a thought and kept his attention on her. He scraped the chair legs against the cement as he brought it closer to Katie. He wrapped his arms around her and brought her to his chest so that she could cry and know that it was okay.

They stayed in that position for several minutes, uninterrupted. Logan had turned his phone off before even stepping into the cabana because he knew there would be a few moments where Katie would need peace and quiet, with no unexpected visitors. She gripped his shirt tightly, the saltwater tears soaking through in tiny trails that would dry in thirty minutes. He rubbed her back and whispered soothing words that were cliché and repetitive, but perfectly used in this situation. She sniffled every few seconds and he mentally reprimanded himself for not bringing tissues. It didn't matter though, they were locked in this moment and it was too late to go back and get them. He wasn't even sure there was a tissue box in the apartment…

"Thanks Logan," Katie spoke weakly, not moving from her spot. The tears had stopped flowing but there were still a few on her face that were reluctant to drop. He pulled back a few centimeters and looked down at her, and she looked up at him. They both smiled and it felt like a true Hallmark moment.

"Don't mention it," he whispered. Then he got mock-serious. "No seriously, don't mention this to the guys, our masculinity will be forever discredited," he joked. She laughed quietly and he hugged her tighter just for one second, and then kissed the top of her head.

"I suppose we can sit here in the dark for a few more moments and wait until it doesn't seem obvious that you were crying. No need to arouse the thoughts of those stupid teens out there," he grinned. She nodded, a much wider smile growing on her face.

"Agreed, they wouldn't be able to keep their mouths shut. The other guys would know within minutes," she agreed. He laughed this time offered a fist out. She bumped it with her own and their grins widened to the point that their cheeks would hurt within minutes.

"I love you Katie," he said, fully aware that her nose would scrunch up and her lips would pull together in a puckered up-sour-faced way. He chuckled as his prediction came true.

"Yuck, no one ever said anything about me needing _that_. I'm good with just sitting here in silence, and then you- oh, Logan," she shook her head, feigning disappointment. His chuckle got louder and she did her best to hide a smile. It calmed down after that, and it got quiet again.

"I love you too, Logan," she whispered. He smiled, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"You wanna go play video games?" he asked her. She smirked and nodded.

"Absolutely I do! You should be _afraid_ too, because I will _beat you into the __**ground**_!" she exclaimed. He laughed, and they walked out of the cabana.

They both felt better about that day, each other, and themselves from that point on.

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**A/N: So, there it is! I hope you liked it, and again, I'm sorry for going AWOL the past few months. I didn't have any inspiration for fanfictions and was focusing on my own stories. **

**Please tell me what you think!**

**~RosesAreForWriters**


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